8 Steps to Writing Your Own Vows & FREE Vow Writing Workbook!

My favorite part of wedding ceremonies is listening to couples as they share their vows with one another in front of the people who love and care for them. These promises are so special and so important that choosing what you want them to say can be pretty difficult! But let’s see if we can make that process a little less stressful and a little more meaningful and fun. Below are 8 Steps to Writing Your Own Vows, and don’t forget to snag your FREE Vow Writing Workbook!

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1. Chat with your officiant & your soon-to-be spouse!

Make sure you know the rules of the church or location you’re getting married in. Some religious ceremonies have specific requirements for vows, so you definitely want to make sure you know what those are!

Talk to your significant other about the structure & tone of your vows… below are a few questions you might want to ask!

– How long should they be? Should we set a range? 100 words? 250 words?
– Are there specific things we want to both include in our vows?
– Will we write our vows separately or together? Will we read each other’s vows before the wedding day or will they be kept secret?
– What do we want the tone to be? How do we feel about having humor in our vows?

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2. Research Wedding Vows

Take some time to read through classic literature about love and traditional wedding readings, wedding vows from specific religions, and others’ wedding vows! If you find something that resonates with you, write it down!

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3. Reflect on your relationship!

Now that you’ve read all the mushy gushy love language and know what a typical structure for vows look like, take some time to think about your relationship and the marriage you’re about to build together. Journal through the questions below, or even write out your love story!

– What do you love about your future spouse?
– When did you know you wanted to marry them?
– What does marriage mean to you?
– How has your relationship challenged you/helped you grow?
– What hopes do you have for your marriage?
– What is your favorite memory with your partner?
– What are you most excited for about marriage?

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4. Come up with Promises

Start to brainstorm promises you want to make to your spouse! Write down anything that comes to mind… just get it all on paper, and go through them later! My Tip: Remember that these vows are promises you’re making to each other for the rest of your life. Consider airing on the side of timeless while finding ways to be personal, and try to stay away from using “always,” “never,” or making promises you can’t keep.

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5. Write it all out.

Go through everything you’ve written down, from quotes that you loved to the reflections on your relationship to the promises you’d like to make as you enter into marriage. Highlight the things that you love the most, and begin to piece together your vows! Then leave it, and come back tomorrow with fresh eyes to take another pass!

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6. Practice!

If public speaking isn’t your thing, this is such an important step! Grab your maid of honor or a close friend and practice reading your vows in front of her! Ask your friend to give you suggestions. Plus, reading them out loud might help you find things you’d like to change!

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7. Make a clean copy for yourself

Type it up or handwrite it into a pretty vow book (two of my favorite sets are by Carole Lola and Paula Lee Calligraphy, and you can find more options on Etsy).

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8. Remember how special your marriage is.

After the actual wedding, it can be easy for those vows to be forgotten or for us to forget how incredibly lucky we are to have married someone we love. When I was engaged, I spent so much time thinking about what I wanted to promise Matt, so I wanted to find a way to remind yourself of how sweet your marriage is and honor the covenant that you made one another. We had Simply Jessica Marie paint our vows and we love them!! We have them hanging in our bedroom, and they’re a daily reminder of what we want our marriage to look like. You can also check out Etsy for other ideas of how to display your vows in your home!

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I so hope this has been helpful as you prepare for your marriage and write your vows, and don’t forget to snag your FREE Vow Writing Workbook!!